Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from February, 2020

Running isn't complicated, grief is

About a month ago I lost my little sister. She had an incredible laugh, loved animals and regularly told me that I was her favorite sister. It was unexpected and I'm still reeling from the utter sadness and shock of it all. I hadn't run since the day I learned she was gone. At first, I was too busy and too depressed to get up and out the door in the morning. My family needed me and I needed them. I especially needed not to be alone. I was out for about a week, and upon my return I started putting pressure on myself to go back to normal. But nothing is normal, there is just a different, new normal. A normal I wanted to reject. Part of that rejection was avoiding running.  I also stopped running because the therapeutic aspect that I have always loved about it now scared me. I wasn't ready to delve into my feelings. And I had a crutch - I thought that by putting aside something that's good for me would mean I wouldn't feel bad anymore. To me, it represented emb